Events and Paths

Its Friday!! How I love a Friday :) It has been a busy week with some travel in the mix. Flying to the east coast to get some business done and back to the grind. I always bitch about flying but in general its the sacrifice I make to get to work from home. I feel like Brayden is totally off schedule and his dad does the best he can with the support from his mom to make sure Brayden is good. I don't know what I would do without both of them in my life. Its hard raising a child and being in a demanding job where you have to leave your life days at a time once or twice a month, but its the path I chose and its amazing. Rough, challenging, lonely, exhausting, but amazing!

Yesterday I was in the store and this woman in front of me was short .98 cents. Seriously less than a dollar. I never have cash on me, but I actually had 2 dollar bills in my wallet.. I have no idea why. Anyway I gave the woman the dollar because she needed it. She was embarrassed, I didn't mean to embarrass her I was just doing what I hope any person would do in that situation. I've done it before, and it's about paying it forward right? Well she looked at me and started to cry, she said thank you so much, I will pay it forward too. She walked up to me and held my hand and said. My son just passed away a few days ago and I'm really out of sorts. Your kindness is something I needed right now. She told me to hold on to my son, and just keep loving him.... Yes, I was tearing up. Brayden of course did his loving thing, and she was able to get what she needed and left. It was emotional.

I was so moved because its was less than a dollar, but she needed the kindness and caring more than that dollar. That to me was so impactful. It just makes you think that the events and the paths that are put in front of you all mean something. She was short a dollar because she needed someone to show her that compassion and love. There I was along with lovey Brayden to give her that, even if it was only for a minute.

Have an amazing weekend!!

These Children :)

To the mamas, dadas, teachers, nannies, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and just around caretakers and influencers. Do you ever just sit back and think how amazing it is to be raising children? There was a time in my life where I said I wouldn't have kids. I'm totally serious... I had decided kids maybe were not for me. But, life happened and I had 2 young kids come into my life, and later on came Brayden.

Children are the most influenced. It's a challenge to influence adults, you have to come with credentials most of the time for adults to really take advice from other adults. We as adults are stuck in our ways let's just face it. Now children they listen, learn, and watch. 

This morning Brayden didn't like the type of egg his dad made him. It was over medium, and Eddie wanted him to try something new. Let's just say he was not feeling it. I don't blame him, eggs are something that are easy to be picky with. I asked him if he wanted scrambled eggs, and he said yes. I asked him would you like to actually make it yourself, and he said YES! So I took a negative experience where he was upset over his egg into an experience he can learn from and become influenced in a better positive way. He loved making his eggs, and he felt proud, I felt proud, and even his dad joined the experience. 

It was such a little glimpse of time, and it just made me think.. These children that we are raising are so influenced and so fragile. It's up to us to make them the people we want them to be. I make so many mistakes as a parent. Brayden is a challenge every day. I want to be better for Brayden, Eddie, and Arielle. Influence them in ways that will help them in life. So maybe it's really the children that influence the adults?  Our childhood is a small part of our lives, and it's such a huge part at the same time. 

I've contemplated putting Brayden in Cub Scouts because of the commitment. When I looked at that calendar of events and the requirements of fundraising I almost fell over, along with another parent couple behind me... lol. It's a shocker looking at it. I'm going to do it. I might seriously feel sick thinking about it, but if having him in a program that he likes and a program that will teach and influence him in ways I might not be capable of, I'll take it. 

So to answer my question earlier. I really think that children influence us, just as much as we influence them. What an amazing trade off! 

Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

Just Another Monday?

Its Monday! As we all get to wake up on this Monday, some of us may have woken up refreshed, exhausted, tired, hungover, or just as any other day. The weekends are a beautiful thing. We get to spend time with family, friends, and just plain make the most of it.

This weekend we had all the kids with us. My personal friends know about the changes recently in our lives, but not everyone knows. In March of this year we only have Eddie and Arielle every other weekend. Compared to 50% of the time. This is an abrupt change in everyones lives. The details of the arrangement are heart wrenching and as my writing continues on I will speak more to those details as they become appropiate. To sum things up, teenagers are confused little humans, and that's ok. The ability to stay strong through this transition has been rough, but I can say almost 6 months down the road the relationship with the kids and our family has not been tainted. We have been able to put the heartache aside and keep our love for each other strong. Brayden becomes sad at times, but he has both myself and his dad to support him and get through it.

I know many families deal with the heartache of a blended family. It's not easy and it becomes confusing to all parties involved. If you are dealing with the constant battle of custody I know we can all relate. What I'm saying is you are not alone. It also may distract you from your goals, but it won't stop those goals. Remember love always wins! At least thats what I want to think.

Our weekend was filled with love with family and friends. A birthday party that brought people together that are dear to me, but don't always have the ability to see or share time with. I also was able to see my brother, nephew and niece who I wish I could see more of. Along with a day at our local pool with friends that are newer in my life, but something about it feels so right.

I'm ready for this week, and willing to take all the bullshit that comes with it. Work keeps us balanced. No matter what type of work it is. If you stay at home and take care of your family, if you hustle out in the work world, if you work in the comfort of your home and blind off the distractions, or if you volunteer all your time away. We are all in it together!

Enjoy!

I'm Back!!!!

            Not sure what came over me today, but it was like something sparked. I want to start doing this again. I want to write about my journey in life and share it with my social media world. I know some of this stuff can be so controversial. Should we share our private life with others? Do we open ourselves up for vulnerability and judgement by sharing our challenges and obstacles? I know it's a risk. I also believe that sharing experiences helps other not feel so much anxiety over their own obstacles and challenges, and of course the good stuff too. Whats wrong for feeling proud of what we have accomplished, and for feeling shameful for what we have not?
         
            I didn't make the best choices in my life, but through those mistakes I have still pushed forward. I hope that my stories and experiences can help others realize that this thing we call life is such a blessing.

           Today I went to a body works plus abs class. Now I work out about 4-5 days a week, and I would consider myself in decent shape, not crazy or anything, just a basic healthy lifestyle. But when I took this class I realized how weak I really am. I had this thought to just walk out half way through. I wanted to quit. I think a lot of times I want to quit. I want to quit my job, I want to quit being a mom, I want to let the house go to shit, I want to not get my ass to gym 5 days a week. The one thought that got me through this class is that I can not believe how blessed I am to be able to even walk into this class. So many people are getting sick each day and can't even walk into a class like this let alone actually attempt to do it. Here I am bitching because it's hard...... So I got through it. I made it and I did OK. Now this class is something I will keep doing, because damn my core is weak!

           As I continue to write my blogs and go through these days I will share more of the challenges and blessings that I come across. A lot has changed this past year. Some have been amazing and others have been what we want to call bumps in the road. I hope that my experiences bring you positive empowerment and realizing that we are all on the same page. Just trying to make it and figure it all out.

Happy Friday!